The Covenant Way: Provision, Protection and Instruction

In the mythical town of Lake Wobegon, “the women are strong, the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.” These are not the proper designations for the Christian family. In the world of Christian discipleship the men are faithful, women are godly, and the children are “the heritage of the Lord.” Consequently, the Christian man cannot be the self-centered narcissist of Lake Wobegon or of popular culture and be the man of God. The faithful man of God understands his duty to provide for the needs of his family, protect them from harm, and instruct in righteousness those under his care.

The Christian man feeds his family before himself; the Christian man places himself in harm’s way to shield those he loves; the Christian man teaches the Word of God. Too often men feel that if they are willing to provide and protect they are doing reasonably well. After all two out of three isn’t bad. But this begs the question, “If the man fails to instruct in righteousness is he fully providing for and protecting his family?”

To paraphrase R. C. Sproul, the thing that is going to cause our people to perish is not the strength of popular culture, or public education, or the decline of the American civilization, but what will cause the collapse of our families and churches is ignorance of the Word of God!

The greater duty for the Christian man is to provide for more than “the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life” (Jn. 6:27). The Christian husband and father protects against “this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places” by taking up the whole armor of God – truth, righteousness, gospel, faith, salvation, the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God (Eph. 6). The Christian man must do more than put food on the table and warn his children not to play in the street.

Men of God take heed – “But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” Isa. 66:2

“The Covenant Way: The Abdication of Husbands and Fathers”

Consider the man in the average Christian family. A Christian husband and father will usually have a general sense about his duties to provide and protect his family. He will understand that his wife and children need provision and care. He might even acknowledge the importance of spiritual growth for the wife and kids. But when the duty of providing that spiritual leadership falls on his shoulders, the average Christian man begins to look for someone else to carry that responsibility.

Who would you think usually decides where a family goes to church? I suggest it’s probably a group decision (that dad claims as his own) based upon the following considerations:

1. Who has the best program where the children can learn to be good little boys and girls?
2. What church provides the best opportunity for the wife’s spiritual growth?
3. Where is the place we all can feel comfortable with the style of worship?

So the family takes a journey into the marketplace of religion to find the place where everyone can be happy. Dad wants everybody to be happy. If the family is happy he’s happy. Most men want their wives and family engaged elsewhere because when mom and the kids are busy being happy they leave him alone. Men love it when they can “outsource” their role as husband and father.

George Whitefield admonished husbands and fathers – “Let me exhort all governors of families, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, often to reflect on the inestimable worth of their own souls and the infinite ransom, even the precious blood of Jesus Christ, which has been paid down for them . . . and you will no more neglect your family’s spiritual welfare than your own” (emphasis mine).

Each Christian husband and father leads his own covenantal church family with all the duties and privileges that attend that calling. This calling cannot be delegated to others. The faithful Christian man then leads his family to join together with that larger covenant family of God to renew covenant in Christ by Word and Sacrament in the Spirit on the Lord’s Day. A covenant home and a covenant church - this is God’s best way to “love your wife as Christ loved the Church” and to see your children and your children’s children embrace the benefits of redemption through the covenant of grace.

The Covenant Way: Reforming The Christian Family

Consider the family life of this generation. When you can find the intact family with a dad, a mom and children, you often discover both parents working outside the home with demanding work schedules and precious little time for each other, the children, or God. For single parent homes it’s even more challenging. What’s a parent to do?

Parents work hard to provide the necessities of shelter, food and clothing. Most fathers and mothers cannot imagine doing much more, so they convince themselves that “quality” time with the family is more important than “quantity” time. To fill the parenting void, parents seek out other people and programs in an effort to give their kids a quality education, good personal character, and meaningful achievement. This, of course, justifies working harder to pay others to do what God ordained the family to do.

Why not take advantage of public schools, non-profit organizations, and community activities designed with children in mind? In fact, why not find a church that will take the kids off your hands for a couple hours a week so both dad and mom can have a meaningful worship experience while the children color Bible figures, enjoy a puppet show, and eat snacks? This is simply not God’s best for you or your family.

This is not to say that to take advantage of a community sports program, an artistic learning experience, or even belonging to good social organization is wrong. It is not. But these things cannot take the place of godly fathers and mothers as the primary care-givers and spiritual leaders in the lives of their children. The covenant family united to a larger covenant church family is God's best for us and our children.

Consider these things:

1. Who spends the most time with your children?
2. Who is the primary teacher of spiritual things to your children?
3. Where and how do your children spend their leisure time?
4. What are your children involved in apart from you that you know is your responsibility?

What were the answers to these questions? Who is at the center of your children’s lives? The problems of family are easily diagnosed but difficult to cure. We get accustom to those ways that make life easier for us but are not better for the heritage of God under our care as fathers and mothers. Pray diligently for God to give you the faithfulness to do your duty as covenant parents to His covenant children.

There will be no 2nd Reformation of the Church without a new Reformation of the family.